Dear Carlos Boozer,
Let me tell you a little story: Once upon a time there was a lovely boy named Paul Millsap. For half of the Jazz’s season I happily watched him tear it up on the basketball court while you sat on the bench sporting your hideous designer suits and nasty diamond earrings. It was a wonderful time.
But then you came back. And oh, the horror. I once again had to start screaming curse words at the TV as I watched you stand motionless under the opposing team’s hoop while they dominated you. “For the love of all that is good and holy, play some defense!” I would scream. But apparently my plea fell on deaf ears.
I didn’t let myself get too worked up about it, though, because I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. You are quite the little whiner, you see, and had made it pretty clear that you wanted to leave the Jazz. So I patiently waited for the news that you would take off for your beloved Miami and we would be rid of your hideous “And One!” scream forever. Of course, I knew there was a possibility that Jazz management might just be stupid enough to keep you, but I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
Then last night Husband informed me of this news: http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=304&sid=7002123
And I almost cried a little. Because if the Jazz have to get rid of Millsap so they can keep paying you the big bucks to do absolutely nothing, then I might just have to boycott this next season. So the moral of the story is this: You suck and I am very angry with you.
Oh, and do you remember that time Ronnie Price totally owned your trash?
Yeah, me too.
Wishing you another injury,
Dasha
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3 comments:
Thank for this post. I feel exactly the same. I hate Boozer. And I love Paul. A lot. I will burn down Boozers house if they let Paul go. Is the Jazz management insane?!? I dont get it. Plus I really don't want to have to buy a new jersey. Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Paul and Boozer at Cafe Rio? And Deron and Ronnie P and B and a bunch of others? Yes well it was awesome. But Paul was the awesomest. Just to further my point that Paul is great. That is 90% of the reason I love the Jazz. If Paul goes- I go. The motto at our hosue is Play Like Paul. What will we do if he isn't around? Cry. That is what. Among other upsetting things. Boo.
Agreed. If Millie leaves then I wash my hands of the Jazz and their stupidity. And I will just cheer for whatever team he plays for (unless it's the Lakers- I just can't go there).
oh that just made my day reading this! i love your posts dasha
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