That's right, I heart Dancing With the Stars. Go ahead and judge me. I won't care because I will be too busy watching a parade of has-beens and B-listers prance around sporting unholy amounts of fake tanner and body glitter. Here is what I love about DWTS:
-The fact that you could totally see it being a rerun of a crazy '70s variety show, but then you realize that it is in fact 2009 and our nation has not outgrown its love of all things cheesy and Osmond-esque. Thank the heavens above.
-The costumes. Oh my land the costumes. My 6-year-old self would have probably had an aneurism taking in all the sparkles and technicolor shades that stroll out on the dance floor every week. My 22-year-old self, although still taken in by all the sparkles, mostly just likes to make fun of how whorish they are.
-The crazy music the dances are set to. This is probably an attempt at making ballroom dance seem hip and modern, but mostly it's just downright awkward. Seriously, if they did a waltz set to "Baby Got Back" I would not be a bit surprised.
-The fact that Mike, despite all his protesting, secretly loves this show too.
OK, so that does it for the "confession" part of this post. On to the "query"- or, my question for all you fellow bloggers that were up in arms a few weeks ago when whatshisface kicked Melissa off The Bachelor. Can y'all please explain to me why you were so outraged by this? Because from what I have seen on DWTS Melissa seems annoyingly peppy and has all the personality of my left foot. If I were whatshisface I probably would have ditched her faster than you can say "15 minutes of fame."
But maybe that is not being entirely fair to poor Melissa, because a lot of my beef with her is related to the fact that she is yet another example of how ridiculously unfair this show is. I mean, is it really an even playing field to have a former professional cheerleader compete against the likes of Steve-O from Jackass and the old fat dude that founded Apple? And don't even get me started on Shawn Johnson. The girl's a professional gymnast for crying out loud. She's spent the majority of her life contorting her body in mid-air while old men from Eastern Europe scream at her. Learning a few dance steps should be a cakewalk.
3 comments:
Oh Dasha. Love this post. LOVE this show. AND Loved the Bachelor. A. LOT. So this comment could get long. First...Dancing with the stars is genious. Oh how I have loved watching Holly Maddison. Most awkward person alive...or at least fighting for the title. So funny. And your comments on the costumes? Dead on. And I love that despite the awfulness of this show and the complete unfairness...it is so awesome. You better believe it is set to record to the DVR each Monday night.
Now onto the Melissa querey. You are correct in the assumption that she has as much personality as a rock...however America is all up in arms because even people who are blah don't deserve to be axed on national television by men with God complexes...or in his case God/Best Father Alive complexes. Whathisname as you call him...is a d-bag. But really why are we surprised by this? He went on the bachelor for starters, then he proceeded to send home every smart woman on the show as fast as he could. He wanted a personalityless/arm candy type wife. And that is just what he got with Melissa and the one his is supposedly with now. But in fairness Melissa is very sweet. And she does have a smoking hot body (which gives her points in my book. ha)and no one could care less about Jason and Molly anymore because Melissa is way cuter and more exciting than them. Well played ABC. More people are watching DWTS than ever because of her. Really all I can say to sum everything up is that I love reality TV probably more than I will love my first born.
Oh Megan, I am so glad you share my obsession. And watching Holly Madison try to maneuver around those gargantuan fake boobs of hers was probably the most awesome thing ever. I cried bitter tears when she got kicked off.
Thank you for making me laugh today. You are hilarious.
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